Meet the outstanding men of Men Alive

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” -- Edith Wharton
 

Two years ago, a group of people affiliated with Men Alive converged and created an opportunity to share stories of our chorus members. The original intent was to confirm the rumor that Men Alive was packed with amazing, accomplished performers who had much to teach people of any sexual orientation. The past two years have done more than affirm this suspicion; it has provided readers with stories about strength of character, happiness and pain, gratitude and grace. And while each story is distinctly individual, they all share the common denominator of “gay.”

What can we learn from the men who have been spotlighted? We see that the men in our chorus mirror the history of our times. They’ve experienced discrimination first-hand, been forced to hide in order to be accepted, and dealt with society’s stigma that being healthy and gay was an oxymoron. Our chorus members have experienced the cold perception that dedication to serving your country is only honorable if you are straight, but the realization that if you’re lucky and resilient, time may provide opportunities to reconcile the wrongs that are forced upon us. These men have shown that you can go from the highs of marching in protest to mourning the slaying of a respected leader all in the same night. They’ve demonstrated that family- however one defines it- is a crucial anchor for all men, that relationships in the gay community are loving and lasting, and that sexual orientation does not limit the ability to raise happy, well-adjusted children.

The men volunteering to share their stories have come from varied backgrounds- large cities and small, rural communities. They’ve distinguished themselves as scholars, become accomplished authors, and built careers as professionals in business, finance, and government. It’s striking how many have dedicated themselves to public service- as educators, therapists, counselors, and medical professionals. While the stories are varied, there’s a common thread of giving and commitment to improving the world- one gay man at a time.

While it remains to be seen just how much more there is to learn from the men who have yet to share their stories. most likely, we’ve just scratched the surface of what our chorus members have to teach and remind us. But we’ll never know unless more men are willing to share their stories. So, as we move into the third year of “Man in the Spotlight,” we take a moment to thank those who have let us catch a glimpse and send out a hope that others will share their stories too. It’s all a part of growing within the gay community and reaching out to those communities that still have so much to learn.

Pascal DeFontis (Baritone)

Each of us is assigned the task of creating the world that we choose to live in- either by design or default. Too often, we let life define our world; stuff happens and we react. However, if we’re strong- or lucky- enough, we actively create the life we choose to live. And along the way, whether we know it or not, our lives serve as positive examples to others. One such example is baritone Pascal DeFontis.
 
Pascal is originally from France, and most of his extended family is still there. “I have an older sister who is married with two teenagers, and my dad is there as well. Unfortunately, my mom passed away over two years ago.” Pascal went to beauty school in Paris and worked in a high-end salon until he moved to the United States in 1993. He’s had experience working both in TV and “runway shows,” and he’s owned his own salon for over five years.

Although he could have continued living a relatively safe, comfortable life in France, Pascal chose instead to build a home in California. He considers this move, and his eventual coming-out, as two of the most important events in his life. Another important event was opening his own business, something that he says would have “been much more difficult if I had stayed in Paris.” His expertise in designing coiffeurs can be seen in many Men Alive shows, from the pony-tailed wig of Cindy Brady in “Comedy Tonight” to the sinister, mussed look of the witches in “Wicked.”

Pascal has definitely designed a world that has had a positive effect on others. He’s not only sung, but danced and acted in many roles since joining for the 2008 “Secret Santa” concert, a decision that was precipitated by a little friendly teasing and a desire to overcome some of his shyness. “To be totally honest, at first I wanted to audition because Robert [Hazelton] was going to audition. I went with him and didn't have the guts to do it. I didn't think that I was a singer. So then after he kind of made fun of me. I decided to do it.” Pascal is quick to add that he’s glad he did. “It’s an amazing experience- to be part of a talented group with a good purpose.”

Yoko Ono once said that “We are all dreamers creating the next world, the next beautiful world for ourselves and for our children.” We in Men Alive are fortunate to be witnessing Pascal’s part in creating that next beautiful world- both through his work in the chorus and through his willingness to be an active participant in designing his life.

Juan Lucero (Baritone)
“A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.”
 
This quote by playwright Henrik Ibsen reminds us that if there is to be a vibrant, healthy gay community, it is up to all of us to share in its development and growth. Often, we do so through obvious means- singing, fund-raising, and volunteering at gay-affiliated events. Sometimes we can even add to the community spirit in ways we may never realize. Perhaps-- as baritone Juan Lucero does—it may be by reminding us that when we give to our community, it gives back as well.
 
Juan has worked as a web designer for over ten years. He studied music at Fresno State and was planning on being a music teacher. “I worked first on a degree in Music Ed with an emphasis in instrumental music, but along the way I realized just how much I loved my required choir classes. I loved to sing and I did much better in my voice lessons than my instrument lessons.” Juan eventually switched his major to vocal music, and took on jobs as a web manager to help pay for school. Those jobs eventually became full-time, resulting in Juan taking a break from college. Eventually, he met and married the man he says “has changed my life for the better in so many ways.” When his job ended in Fresno, Juan began a new one in Southern California, leaving his husband behind and resulting in an eighteen month long-distance marriage. With that experience behind him, Juan has plans to return to college, finish his degree and become a choir director. He says his love of music continues to be a driving force in his life. “I never seem to get enough singing.”

Juan has been an active part of a chorus community for many years. He sang with the Fresno Gay Men’s Chorus until his relocation to Southern California. Soon, however, he realized how much he missed singing with his friends. Juan joined the Men Alive community and has been impressed by the “quality and number of wonderful, driven, talented singers in the group.” He says that the chorus gives people out there who love to sing a place to shine.

Juan also sees the importance of being part of the larger gay community as well. He states that the passing of Proposition 8 was “the kick” he needed to get more involved:

I feel that people in our community have a need for other like minded people to draw strength from. It's hard being an out gay person, and every positive, uplifting experience involving the gay community (experiences like the amazing concerts this choir performs each year) helps us as a community to be stronger. It allows us to show the world around us that we are valuable, viable, vibrant people who deserve the same rights, responsibilities, and respect as anyone else.

Juan reminds us that Men Alive is not only part of the gay community, it is an organization that reaches out to the community at large. He points out that each of us can be an integral part of that outreach, and that through our involvement we get a great deal in return. As Men Alive moves forward into planning our second ten years, Juan’s words should continue to echo in the collective ear.

Bill Reed (Bass)
“Through music, men's voices unite as a vehicle to entertain, educate, bring healing, joy, community and build bridges to the public at large.”
 
Men Alive’s Mission Statement can be heard resonating through every musical performance. And although the chorus is often looked at as a talented and complex ensemble, each person- singer, dancer, envelope stuffer, or costume designer- brings a unique perspective and an individual story which adds color, depth, and insight into that which is the gay experience. Bass Bill Reed is one of those incredible individuals.
 
Bill was born and raised in Laguna Beach. After High School, he left to attend college in Arizona, but left after two years to backpack around Europe. “I had one of the best times of my life traveling around Europe. I met so many wonderful people and saw so many beautiful sights. I had my 21st birthday in Rome. My most memorable time was in Mykonos where I lived with a Greek family for a month.” Upon his return, Bill enlisted in the U.S. Naval Reserve, spent two years on an aircraft carrier, and completed two military tours to Vietnam during the height of the war. He later went on to complete a degree in marketing, which lead to many corporate-level management positions. After Bill returned to Southern California in 1989 to be closer to his father, he worked at several jobs with the U.S. Government and retired in 2005. Now, he shares the home he grew up in with chorus member Craig Tyrl and his partner Noe. Bill is proud of his “loving family of three.”

From his early years as a “boy soprano in church,” music has always had an important place in Bill’s life. He has sung in several church choirs, been a performer for the Laguna Beach Festival of Arts Chorale, and had parts in musicals like Carousel and Oklahoma. In 2003, Bill met fellow Men Alive bass Jack Middleton, who encouraged Bill to attend St. George’s Episcopal Church choir. Jack told Bill that the choir director, Rich Cook also directed a gay men’s chorus, and, after attending a performance, Bill successfully auditioned. He performed in the 2003 holiday show “Christmas in New York” and has been with the chorus since then. Bill currently sings with both the Saddleback College Emeritus Choir and Men Alive.

Bill describes the Men Alive experience as a miracle. “By the time I reached 7th Grade, I began to have feelings towards other boys. During my first year in college at ASU, when I was about 18 years old, I finally admitted to myself that I was gay.” As a gay man growing up during the Cold War, Bill always felt that he had to be very careful in the way he acted and with the things that he would say. He says that after many years, he became a pro at it, but it was always a degrading feeling. It wasn’t until joining Men Alive that Bill was able to allow himself to no longer hide:

In March 2008, my 30 year old nephew Sam and his girlfriend visited me from Australia. I bought them two tickets to Men Alive’s production of “Vegas Gold.” I told them that it was the Orange County Gay Men’s Chorus. It was really the first time that I had ever admitted to any member of my family that I was a gay man. I remember after the performance I met Sam in the lobby and we hugged each other and cried. It was at that moment that I felt the secret of being gay was over and I didn’t have to worry about exposing my life as a gay man to my family or anyone. The chorus did for me what I could not do for myself. I am forever grateful to Men Alive for a much more inclusive and fulfilling life.

So when you go to the Men Alive website and scroll down to the bottom left, take a moment to reflect on what the Mission Statement is saying. Seeing how we entertain and bring joy and community is easy. But men like Bill Reed take the part about “healing and building bridges” to heart. He’s lived it.

Dave Wilson (Baritone)
In 2008, Michelle Obama spoke of Hillary Clinton as one of many who “put those eighteen million cracks in the glass ceiling so that our daughters and sons can dream a little bigger and aim a little higher.” And although the glass ceiling is typically an economic term, some would say that, as gay men, we have our own glass ceiling of sorts- a barrier that society or we impose upon us that either limits us or provides the motivation we need to shatter it. But perhaps- as baritone Dave Wilson’s experience might suggest- we can redefine the metaphor completely.
 
Dave works as a corporate trainer for a property management company, having successfully moved up the organizational ladder over the seven years he’s been there. He’s been in a committed relationship with his husband Zack for over ten years. They had gotten engaged in 2002, and once California briefly recognized gay marriage in 2008, Dave and Zack married. He says “having the opportunity to stand in front of my family and friends and say ‘I do’ to someone who has been my best friend, my confidant, and my partner is something that I will never ever forget.” He has a great relationship with his in-laws and enjoys spending time with his friends and family, especially his niece and nephews. It seems to be a family and work dynamic that may not sound out of the ordinary, but since he is the only one in his family living in California, it takes flexibility and resolve to make it work.
 
Breaking through barriers requires perseverance and patience, and nowhere does Dave demonstrate that better than in reaching one goal as a performer. He’s sung and performed most of his life, including with the Turtle Creek Choral, but his long-standing aspiration had always been to play the Cowardly Lion in a production of “The Wizard Of Oz.” “I'd loved the Lion in the movie, and had always enjoyed watching his scenes. When I was in 6th grade, I saw a production of the Wizard of Oz, and realized that I might someday get the opportunity to play that character, if I worked hard enough.” Finally, in 2009, Dave was selected to portray the lion in Men Alive’s “Wicked to Oz” show. It required Dave to sing a solo, something he had been told in younger days he would never achieve. “When Rich Cook said ‘And our Lion is Dave Wilson’, I was just over the moon. I don't recall what I did, or exactly how I reacted, but I knew that, no matter what else happened, I was going to finally get the chance to play the role I'd wanted to play since I was 12.”

Now after accomplishing that goal, he says the only thing holding him back from further dreams is himself. “The more I can trust myself, the further I can go.” Dave is looking toward returning to college to have the type of experience he missed before. “I went to the school my parents wanted me to go to and studied what they felt was the right thing for me to study at the time. I'm not angry with them about it; they just wanted me to be happy and make money, and I didn’t have the sense of self or self-confidence to fight for what I wanted. Now that I have a better understanding of who I am and what I missed out on, I want to fix that.”

Whether a glass ceiling or another cliché, barriers exist as all types of metaphors. But we determine if they will affect us- or even if we acknowledge them as barriers at all. It’s clear that Dave has chosen to use his experiences to illustrate that life doesn’t necessarily provide barriers- just opportunities.

Bob Oesterreich (Bass)
Change is tough. Watching those in our lives change can also be tough. Even more complex is holding on to what matters most to us while all this change is going on. It’s rather like two planes flying in parallel formation; each plane moves on its own, but both must work together to keep from crashing into one another or to keep from flying further and further apart. Bass Bob Oesterreich is one man whose experience has demonstrated that he’s kept his planes flying in impressive formations.
 
Bob’s family includes nieces and nephews, godchildren, three siblings, and parents that have been married almost 55 years. His family has been quite supportive and accepting of Bob throughout his life. While a youngster, Bob sang with the All American Boy’s Choir and was a French-speaking “singing waif” in the New York City Opera’s performance of Carmen. He attended Mater Dei High School and has been an active musician since his early days, learning to play the accordion, piano, and trombone. While singing with his church choir, Bob earned an AA degree in education from Orange Coast College and a special certificate in computer graphics. He now works as an Applications Engineer in Anaheim and says that his favorite role was working as a technical trainer and traveling to over a dozen European countries. The “No Music, No Life” sign Bob displays at work is a reminder that, even when things around him fluctuate, some things- like Bob’s love of music- are important enough to not let slip away.
 
Bob has demonstrated in other ways how to keep hold of that which matters most throughout the changes in his life. While some people can say they’ve stayed with the same employer for over twenty years, Bob has done so throughout five different jobs and four company mergers. Bob is also one of the most veteran singers with Men Alive, having been part of the changing chorus landscape since January 2003. He says that Men Alive makes him proud to be a gay man, and that performing on stage and sharing music with other choruses during GALA in Montreal was among his favorite moments.

It’s true- we often “move on,” away from people, jobs, or situations that have, for one reason or another, realized their potential and faded, as we move toward the unknown. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing at all. However, we do need to acknowledge people like Bob Oesterreich for finding ways to keep the important constants in his life- his family, his friends, his job, and Men Alive- amidst all the changes. Rather like flying those planes, it’s not as easy as it appears.

Dan Martin (Tenor II)
In his Nobel Peace Prize speech, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. referred to a belief in ideal love among humankind. “I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.” Although some say it’s unrealistic to expect to be loved for exactly who you are, others not only believe it’s possible, but they experience it daily. It’s definitely a word that is familiar to second tenor Dan Martin.
 
Dan grew up in rural Oregon, the youngest of three children. He was an accomplished athlete in high school, finding time to excel in football and track. At 18, Dan became a department manager in a large retail store, where he continued in management, maintaining consistent increases in sales and productivity. Prior to leaving Oregon, he was briefly married, but indicates that his coming out- first to his wife and later to his family- was a turning point in his life. Dan says the hardest part was coming home to tell his father. “My Mother flew me home to tell him. The night we sat down to talk he stopped me and simply said that all he ever wanted for us kids was for us to be happy, it didn't matter what anyone else thought or said because his love was unconditional, and he wanted us to be able to come to him with anything. I knew at that moment I couldn't have asked for a better family than the one I had all around me.” Dan is currently working as a Vice President, Branch Manager for OneWest Bank and lives in Aliso Viejo with his partner Marc Ortiz. He states that his hope is to have children and grow old with the same type of unconditional love that he has experienced through his family.
 
Although a love of the performing arts led Dan to Men Alive, he was also at a place in his life where he wanted to “find a positive influence and a strong core group of friends.” He had experiences as a singer and choreographer in a jazz choir growing up, but after missing several opportunities to audition due partly to losing his mother to cancer, Dan successfully auditioned for a place in the chorus.

Dan had taken his mother to one of the first Men Alive holiday shows and she fell in love with the chorus and wanted him to be a part of it. He feels a similar unconditional acceptance within Men Alive. To him, it is more than a chorus. It is a family offering love and warmth, providing a feeling of support that radiates out from the chorus to the audience and beyond. “There is no safer place to be you and to be understood by friends and family.”

Dan uses words like unconditional love and acceptance freely in describing his life and his time with Men Alive. But most would say that in order to really recognize and feel it, you must be able to offer it in return. Perhaps that offering of unconditional acceptance from Dan to the rest of us is his ultimate gift to Men Alive.

Dennis Marquardt (Bass)
What do you do when faced with adversity? Do you cave in? Charge full-steam-ahead? Change direction? Well, if you’re bass Dennis Marquardt, you might just step outside the box- in this case, squeeze box.
 
“I used to play the accordion. I learned to play the squeezebox upside down and left handed...before I took a lesson. OK...I was musically dyslexic.” While musically dyslexic may not be entirely accurate, it is accurate to say that it takes a lot of creative talent, patience, and a touch of humor to overcome a right-handed musical instrument in a left-handed world. Talented, patient, and humorous are apt words to describe Dennis.
 
One of two children, Dennis was born in a Midwestern, industrial city. He has a large extended family who, he says, is “VERY supportive, accepting, and generally cool.” He states that his childhood was good-- “happy...healthy...and full of fun.” But, because there were certain things an industrial Midwestern boy could not aspire to do, Dennis hid his love of singing and instead focused on earning a living. Although he spent some time as a typographer, Dennis is a self-proclaimed “food whore,” who elected to follow his passion. “I can cook up a storm and organize any food event as well. Hence my catering experience/background.” Dennis has definitely relied on his talent and patience growing up left-handed. ”Before going to school, I used to write from right to left. I learned that on my own...and had a rude awakening when they sent me off to be indoctrinated into society.”

Dennis continues to rely on his humor and unique way of looking at the world to ease the bumps and bruises that are an inevitable fact of life. Although his sister and some friends affectionately refer to him as the class clown, Dennis is serious when he speaks of his respect and admiration for Men Alive. “Proud, strong, and jubilant gay men performing together on stage, showing people the joy of being who we are...the joy of life, music, and brotherhood. We sing...we dance...we reach out...we reach for what fulfills us. What more positive message could anyone send to anyone else?”

So, while Dennis may have portrayed the Scarecrow searching for a brain in “Wicked to Oz,” it’s clear that this was no metaphor for Dennis’ life; his brain is evident and in excellent working order. Finding creative ways to meet life head-on and humorously navigating the often torrid waters of gay life, he remains a very admirable example Men Alive’s best.

Mark Kusnetz (Tenor II)
When it comes right down to it, we never really know the impact we have on others. A hug, a simple conversation, or even just a smile can affect someone in ways we’d probably never realize. So when I walked up to share a hug with second tenor Mark Kusnetz at practice recently, I doubt he had a clue that I walked away from that exchange reminded of what a good, kind, and gentle man he is.
 
Mark was born in New Jersey in the summer of ’59 and lived there with his parents and two younger sisters until 1979. During this time, he came out to his family, which he says was a defining moment in his life. “I have been completely out to them since I was 17. They accept me and my friends with love and respect.” Right after high school, Mark attended one year of college as a chemistry major. “I wanted to be a pharmacist, but it was dreadfully boring sitting in four-hour lectures.” When Mark and his family moved to Irvine, he chose to take business and music courses at Santa Ana College, also finding time to sing with the Santa Ana Master Chorale. He spent many years in a joint business venture with his father until a tragic auto accident in 1989 forced Mark to stop work and into an extended recovery period.
 
Mark’s interests are varied. He tunes in to CNN regularly, and watches Joel Osteen every Sunday to continue his spiritual growth. He is an avid collector of Wizard of Oz memorabilia, enjoys movies, and has a love of poetry writing that has resulted in the publication of a few of his compositions. In 2008, Mark was introduced to Men Alive. “My mom woke me up to go see a gay chorus sing with Bernadette Peters. After seeing the show, I knew I had to be part of this magnificent group.” Mark has been inspired through his work with Men Alive, volunteering for many functions and serving as a chairperson of the “Man on a Mission” team. When asked about what he’d still like to accomplish, Mark focuses on learning music, performing, and discovering the lessons of adult life that still await him. “There is so much information to learn, people to love and feelings to feel. I know I’ve only just begun.”

Mark would probably be the last person to really come right out and say that his presence has a positive effect on people. I would venture to say he’s just not the kind of person to dwell on it. But I think those of us who have spent a little time with him would unanimously agree that not only is he a good soul, but he’s good for the soul. And we can all stand to be a bit more like that.

Joel Kemper (Baritone)
John Paul Sartre once said that “We only become what we are through the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us.” For people in general, but gay men in particular, that statement is a fact of life. By not accepting the label and stereotype others attempt to foist on us we can change society and become more fully ourselves. Baritone Joel Kemper has been doing just that for over fifty years.
 
Joel, second of four children, was born in the Midwest and moved from his Nebraska town to Newport Beach when he was twelve. He completed High School and an AA degree before entering the military. After joining the U.S. Air Force in 1959, he attending Bomb Navigation School in Denver, Colorado and graduated at the top of his class. Joel has worked in the finance industry, where he retired in 1992 after more than thirty years, and continued to work as a consultant for General Motors Acceptance Corp after his retirement.
 
Throughout his life, Joel has enjoyed the performing arts. He has spent time singing in both school and church choruses, as well as performing in Tom Sawyer, South Pacific, The Mikado, Pirates of Penzance, HMS Pinafore, The Hasty Hearts and The Mad Woman of Chaillot. Joel thoroughly enjoys the time spent with Men Alive and appreciates it for the special group that it is. “I have found a great group of men that I truly feel proud to be a part of. Now I have over 125 friends and growing….”

Whether through foundational events or just day-to-day living, Joel has demonstrated a continual ability to not let others define him. He came out to his family in the early sixties and feels he has been “educating and winning over straight people” all his life. Although he distinguished himself during his time with the Air Force, he was dishonorably discharged for being gay. But Joel refused to let that stand. “I have since gone before a military review board consisting of top brass from every branch of the military and had it changed to honorable.” He says that things have improved over the years but the stigma, hatred and ignorance is always there. It’s evident to Joel, that one must keep grounded and not let others decide your life for you. “I have always pretty much done what I wanted to do. I have had most everything I ever wanted. I have loved many and disliked few. I have lived a good life and have few regrets.”

Wayne Nishioka (Tenor II)
Faith is often not an easy subject to discuss where gay men are concerned. Many have dealt with the slings and arrows of a society that is quick to judge the gay man as unworthy of God's unconditional love and acceptance. Too many times, our faith suffers for it. However, for Tenor II Wayne Nishioka, faith has been strengthened by his acceptance of being gay.
 
Wayne comes from a small, conservative family, and was raised with a cultural perspective that rejected homosexuality. As he learned to accept himself, he also began reconciling his faith with being gay. Today, he says, "I am at peace with my spiritual beliefs as a gay man and am now going through a life change in living that out. I've lost some friends, and made some new ones along the way." He cites accepting Christ as the most important thing to have happened to him.
 
Wayne arrived at the doors of Men Alive with a great deal of training in music and dance. He has trained with the Lauridsen Ballet Center and performed with the South Bay Ballet Company from 2003-2007. Wayne has also performed in musicals with various theaters in the South Bay and Orange County and states that his finest Men Alive moment was being cast as a dancer in 2010's "Fever of Love." He recognizes Men Alive as important not only for its contribution to the arts and gay communities, but also "as a place where members can join together with common interests and life issues."

We each have our own faith journeys to talk about. And whether we subscribe to the faith in a higher power, faith in all of mankind, or faith in our own abilities to get us through those difficult situations, we learn much about our faith throughout time. Wayne Nishioka is a physical reminder that we can grow in our faith- and that our faith can grow in us.

Harlan Eyre (Baritone)
An anniversary of any type carries with it the luxury of looking in two directions at once. We look back at the experiences that have led us to where we are now, and we look ahead to possibilities. If we are continuing to develop our capacity for wisdom, we may be glancing backward in order to learn from the past and maximize our ability to move forward. So as Men Alive approaches the tenth anniversary, baritone Harlan Eyre’s story serves as a reminder that it is necessary to do both.
 
Harlan grew up in the era of possibility. “I came out in the Black and White era of Peyton Place in mid 1966, so it's pretty difficult to suggest that my moderately sized extended family would have any big surprise at my being who I am. They have been and continue to be supportive and still remain close to my former partners.” His background includes a world view, shaped by living and working both in and outside the United States. " From early on, I was encouraged to explore and learn from others while always being respectful of differences. That has enabled me to be more appreciative of the value of diversity. I had the chance to be in the audience at Monterey Pop Festival and shake my head at Janis Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix, I got confused at Altamont, ( and not for pharmaceutical reasons) catching the Stones, and with tears in my eyes, marched down Market Street the night Harvey Milk was taken from us. I was lucky to have been able to explore who I would become under remarkable circumstances which became defining moments for our culture. "
 
One pattern that is evident in Harlan’s life is the willingness to use past experience in order to step outside his comfort level. He has performed with local theatre and USO tours, was recruited by a major aerospace corporation as a management trainer and developer, and now provides service to others as a certified career and life coach. He brings that experience to Men Alive through his performing and the leadership roles he has taken on-- both as a former section leader and Chorus-elected Board member and now as a full member of the Board. He cites getting through a previous Holiday show,“Secret Santa” in heels as a significant event that required his stepping outside that comfort zone. It might require us to step out of our comfort zone to imagine the past experience that could have prepared him for that, however.

Harlan’s perspective continues to be firmly pointed toward the future. “Being a volunteer organization, how do we secure the depth of commitment and contribution from the membership to enable Men Alive to move forward? Every member needs to step up to a realization that success depends upon more than getting together once a week to put on a show.” It sounds like a great vision to move Men Alive forward into its next ten years.

Joe Tish (Baritone)
Whether you come out early or later in life, the process is usually not an easy one. We typically must be willing to put a portion of our personal lives under the microscope for scrutiny by anyone who, correctly or incorrectly, feels they have the right to look. The courage necessary to open that closet door serves us all well in the long run, and it requires a pretty thick skin. But there are some whose courage takes them to places that provide opportunities to throw open that door, take on the world- or at least their part of it- and teach us all something as well. Men like Baritone Joe Tish.
 
Joe was raised in Iowa, the youngest in a combined family of eight children. He credits his family as being so “amazing, and a blessing to my life that I cannot express in words.” Prior to moving to California, he spent 7 years as the Director of Front of House Operations at The Des Moines Playhouse. He also directed and choreographed in theatres in Iowa, Pennsylvania, Illinois, and Kansas. In addition, Joe spent several years touring the US and Canada as a stage manager, company manager, actor, and choreographer for various touring theatricals. Currently, when he is not seen singing and organizing ticket sales for Men Alive, he is working as a sales engineer for one of the world’s leading providers of ticketing technology and business solutions for the event ticketing industry.
 
It was while Joe was still in Iowa that, with the help of his family and friends, he had some pretty ground-breaking experiences. In his twenties, Joe won the Miss Gay Iowa Pageant. That event lead to his serving as the Grand Marshall of the Des Moines Pride Parade along with the mayor, singing at the Inauguration of the Governor of Iowa with The Des Moines Gay Men’s Chorus, and becoming an openly gay radio guest personality on the number one morning radio show in Des Moines.

And along with all those fantastic events, Joe credits his family’s support as every bit as amazing. “Talking with my parents openly about my sexuality was one of the most important things in my life. Having them immediately express their love, their confusion, and their unyielding support was a time in my life that I cherish.” Joe appreciates the continued support of his Men Alive family as well. He says it is an outstanding way of being part of a larger heart of the community for the members and a way to show the community at large what and who we are.

Affirming ourselves as gay men can be a very difficult process- one of unlearning as well as learning. It’s helpful to have the experiences of others in the community to use as motivation to continue that learning. Men like Joe Tish.

Tony D'Amico (Bass)
In every organization, there are those who serve as witness to the collective soul. Typically, it is an elder-statesman- not chronologically elder of course, but someone who has been present throughout the organization’s development and continued transformation. For Men Alive, one such witness is Bass Tony D’Amico.
 
Tony, one of three children, has had quite a fascinating history of his own so far. Raised by parents who eventually became charter supporters of Men Alive, he originally planned to complete an MD-PhD program in medically-directed biochemical research. Tony chose instead to leave school and work for the Forest Service, eventually arriving at an ashram (meditation center). There, he fulfilled a variety of roles, including cook, night-watchman, singer, and carpenter. After fifteen years, including over a year in India, Tony returned to America and applied his work experience to the design side of construction. He has spent time kayaking various rivers from Washington to New Mexico, including Grand Canyon, completing a six day solo backpack trip near timberline on Mount Rainier, and cycling several times from San Francisco to Los Angeles with the California AIDS Ride.
 
But what of his experience as witness to the history of Men Alive? Here’s what Tony has to say:

“When the doors opened at IUCC (Irvine United Congregational Church) for our first concert, the lights were out inside, and after weeks of wondering, the place was packed: standing room only and not much of that! As the doors opened, admitting the light of the candles from the twenty-some of us singers, the 300 or so fans turned and started applauding. The anticipation of the audience and the chorus, the statement that was being made, the promise and the love- without singing a note- that was more thrilling than any moment since.”

Tony goes on to describe another first-year event. “At one of the first concerts at St. George, we were doing three shows because we had sold out. As we were gathering on Saturday afternoon for the second show, we were talking about our experience of the group. My reaction was that it felt like we were a group of friends meeting in their garage to put on a show for their neighbors, and people were actually paying and excited to come see us. Maybe it's not that much of a surprise, but both feelings still seem to persist.”

As Men Alive celebrates its tenth year as an organization, impacting not only the gay community but the community at large, it would do itself a significant injustice to overlook the accomplishments and reflections of those men who can speak to the history of the group first-hand. Men like Tony D’Amico.

Lester Ricks (Tenor II)
There are countless reasons why the men and women of Men Alive look forward to gathering together in the myriad of configurations that we do. Of course, there’s the music and singing. Some would cite the feeling of warmth and acceptance in the room to be a motivating factor. And, of considerable importance is an opportunity to reconnect with the hard-working men who flash a gentle, sometimes mischievous grin that lifts our spirits-- men like second tenor Lester Ricks.
 
Lester has been a familiar smiling face in the chorus since the Spring of 2005. He spent fourteen years in the Navy, specializing in electronics, and gradually took on more administrative duties. Recently, after years of working full-time while attending classes, Lester realized his goal of earning a Bachelor’s Degree in Information Technology and he has continued into the Master’s program for IT/Project Management.
 
The chorus has been fortunate to have Lester working as a member of the leadership team, as Big Brother to new members and now Director of Membership. He says that Men Alive has given him an opportunity to show the positive aspects of life as a gay man, and as Lester says, “not as a part of the stereotype that many people would think of gays.” Lester enjoys welcoming new members that come to be a part of the Men Alive family. Those of us who know Lester have been fortunate to be part of that welcoming.

Doug Leffin (Tenor I)
It’s amazing that, in contrast to all the public doubt about the effect gay and lesbian contact may have on children, so many of us have devoted our lives to either raising them, teaching them, caring for them, or volunteering for organizations that support and nurture them. For us, being advocates for children is more than just a calling; it’s a passion that transcends obligation, financial rationality, or even available stores of energy. That description, meant in an entirely admirable way, is an ideal one to introduce First Tenor Doug Leffin.
 
Doug works as a Child Life Specialist in the medical field, providing psychosocial support to hospitalized children. Part of his work is preparing children for surgery and other medical events. “As one can imagine, children may be very fearful and anxious about their pending medical care. My job is to assist them during this care.” Doug’s history with theatre and music has come in handy, providing opportunities to establish a rapport with children through singing and laughter. As Doug puts it, “it helps to know the words to ‘Winnie the Pooh.’”
 
A native Southern Californian, Doug is thankful for the “wonderful family” that has made coming out a “very easy” process for him. His friends and coworkers have also been loving and supportive. “I count my blessings every day,” Doug says. He is also thankful for the “Men Alive” family that he has gotten to know since joining in 2008. “It came as a great surprise how quickly I was welcomed into the chorus; everyone was so very warm and welcoming to the ‘newbies’.”
   
Doug enjoys belonging to something that reaches out to other gay men who need support, role models, and encouragement. It seems fitting that a man who dedicates his life to providing precisely those crucial life needs for children would end up singing with Men Alive. After all-- laughter, singing, and connecting with others aren’t just reserved for children; it’s something that all of us would benefit from devoting our lives to.

Bill Eadie (Tenor II)
Walk into any Tuesday evening practice and you'll observe the spectrum of personalities, some talking chorus business, some relating personal matters. But we don't often get to spend time to really learn about the sum total of one's experiences that has made him the person he is today. So this is your opportunity to spend a few moments with second tenor Bill Eadie, a gentleman in every sense of the word.
 
Bill is the oldest of four children and enjoys a close relationship with all his siblings. While growing up in Southern California, he sang in a large and active church choir and performed in theater. He was captain of the debate team and played the tuba and acoustic bass throughout secondary school, college, and the army. Bill was named “Soldier of the Year” at Fort Ord, which he says, “was certainly ironic for someone who made it out of basic training without passing the physical training exam.” Bill worked at Disneyland and attended UCLA, where he did publicity and press relations for the UCLA Band. After time in the army, he returned to school where he earned a Ph. D in communications and later became the youngest Department Chair at Cal State Northridge.
 
Bill was given the opportunity to relocate to Washington D.C., serving as the Associate Director of the National Communication Association-- the largest of the scholarly societies in his field. It was there that, after many years of living in “denial about being gay,” Bill decided to “make a clean start as an out, gay man.” He joined the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington D.C. and experienced first-hand the effects of the AIDS crisis. “My sweet chorus big brother died of AIDS during some of the hottest and most humid weather I have ever experienced, and I still cherish the fact that I braved the heat to be at his bedside on the day that he died.” It was also during his time in Washington D.C. that Bill was diagnosed with a chronic heart condition and underwent a double bypass. “Chorus members streamed to my hospital room to provide support, and cards and phone calls kept coming when I went home.”
   
These experiences would eventually play a part in Bill's working with Men Alive as the Chorus Care Coordinator, but they were just two of many important events in his life at this time. During his tenure with GMCW, Bill sang both at Carnegie Hall and later as part of Bill Clinton's second inaugural celebration- the first gay men's chorus to be invited to do so. “We were given a Sunday 11:00 a.m. time slot at the National Museum of American History's auditorium, and I figured that no one would come to hear us. We were amazed when the hall was not only full, but the crowd also filled a second auditorium, which only had the sound piped in.”
Bill continues to dedicate himself to not only two choruses, but to writing and directing as well. This past April, he directed a twenty performer production of "To Kill a Mockingbird." for St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral, and next February, he’ll stage “The Little Prince” in the same space. He's also been reviewing theater for two websites, SanDiego.com, and TalkinBroadway.com. It is difficult to compact a full, rich life into the space of a five-minute read. So, if you would like to know more about Bill's fascinating experiences, or if you just want to know how he manages the drive from San Diego to Orange County every week, you'll find him in the Tenor II section. Carve out some time to spend with this intriguing man.

Patrick Clarke (Baritone)
Families are often a puzzle inside a riddle wrapped in an enigma. We can spend the bulk of our lives attempting to free ourselves from the family ties that bind, while longing for that which we wished had existed in those innocent days of youth. But for baritone Patrick Clarke, the word family does not precede a question mark- following it is a resounding exclamation point.
 
A native Orange Countian, Patrick is the fifth child in a family of eleven. He cites his extended family as not only being supportive of who he is, but as ardent educational advocates. "My parents could not afford private school for all of us.  My aunt and uncle decided they would pay for me to go to private school,  which put me on a much more academic path than I think I would have been on had I stayed at the public school." Patrick's commitment to family was later demonstrated when he and his partner of eighteen years volunteered to take in four nieces and nephews. He says the eight years his partner's family has been with them have been exceptionally rewarding. "Having the opportunity to return the favor in taking care of my partner's family has brought it all full circle.  I look at it as a real opportunity to change these kids lives just like mine was when my aunt and uncle took me in."
 
Patrick has even seen change demonstrated in his own family. He states that the mission of Men Alive really hit home with him when his "very conservative Catholic aunt" asked if she could auction off tickets to a Men Alive concert at her church. "I was not worried that she wouldn't love me if I was gay, but that she was so taken with what we were doing on stage and to want to bring it to all her friends was amazing to me."
   
A sense of dedication has been evident in the work Patrick's done with the Orange County Gay Men's Chorus. From his earlier days of singing commercial jingles along with the TV ads and with his sister as they cleaned the dinner dishes to performing various roles in high school and college and his participating with Men Alive, Patrick has demonstrated the same enthusiasm that is evident in his willingness to care for family. He notes the quality of the product and the sense of pride he feels as important by-products of the time and commitment that goes in to each concert.

Wilson Raiser (Bass)
Whether or not you believe that we are all connected, like some cosmic web with lives overlapping and intersecting, you can’t deny that we do all have some effect on those with whom we come in contact. Case in point- bass Wilson Raiser. Who can forget the effect he had on those who were fortunate enough to witness his transformation into Glinda, the good witch, during last year’s “Wicked to Oz” show? Wilson’s story is one which illustrates the effect one person can have over countless others.

Although Wilson has also worked maintaining computer systems and designing websites, he studied at BYU and trained as an actor at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. He has been seen on TV, and in theater, movies and commercials. If you’ve been around L.A., you might have seen Wilson interacting with audiences through his stand-up comedy and Cabaret acts, or when working as a singing waiter. Wilson even gathered together with others on a global scale, traveling with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles in 1999 to perform at “the first gay-organized event in Russia.”

But it’s not only through Wilson’s performing that he has had an effect on others. Since he never had the opportunity to have children, he decided to sponsor 2 children in Ecuador, about 5 years ago, “it has been a very rewarding and heartwarming to know that you are making a difference in someone’s life, and the pictures and letters the kids send are worth it. I highly recommend everyone do it”.

His quiet humor and gentle demeanor continue to affect others from inside and outside the Men Alive community. He appreciates the chorus not only as a great support group and social outlet but also because of the how “phenomenally talented most of the members are.”

Very true. But no one can make an entrance like a pink-satin-clad Wilson in a large, flying bubble, and he continues to positively affect those with whom he comes in contact through his work in Men Alive and in other areas of his life. As a result of our interaction with Wilson, many of us can say we’ve definitely been changed for the better.

Robert Samuel Hazelton (Baritone I)
In his book, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, Gordon Livingston explains that “happiness is the ultimate risk.” All people, gay men in particular, are too familiar with the fear that must be befriended in order to take those risks and attempt to build what one would call a “happy” life. Baritone Robert Samuel Hazelton’s life is indicative of someone who has done just that.

From his early years, Robert has worked to showcase his talents. “In high school and college, I performed in the choir and musicals. I had the opportunity to perform in "Guys and Dolls,” "Fiddler on the Roof," and in my senior year, I had the lead in "Grease." He danced for Disneyland and juggled performance work with fine arts courses in college. Robert’s effort resulted in a gallery display of his artwork and an award from the college Patrons of the Arts Association. After college, he managed a craft store, worked as a display artist, and served as a national coordinator of craft classes for his employer. Robert has used his creative and managerial talents at Nordstrom, but states that his real love is in costume designing. “Through what I felt was a revelation in my life, the choir gave me a chance to create costumes for Men Alive shows. Although I had always created costumes, I never really had an opportunity to showcase my talent. It inspired me to take a risk and become a full time costume designer.” Currently, Robert owns his own small business and feels he has achieved something very rewarding and important. He says the road is long, but he has had success and enjoys getting up every day to sew.

Robert’s cites his tenure with Men Alive as being an important part of his life. He acknowledges how supportive people are, “not only to your personal situations but the support of your part in each show.” He feels Men Alive has helped him realize that he could make a difference and have his voice heard. Through the help of his family, including his partner Pascal and a variety of four-legged and finned animals, and with the support of his chorus family, Robert feels certain that he can not only change his life but help to change the world.

It is quite clear through the story of Robert Samuel Hazelton that with risk comes the possibility for immeasurable growth. As for happiness, one might argue that it’s not the destination that counts but the trip one makes along the way. And Robert has definitely had one interesting trip so far.

Stephen Brothwell (Tenor I)
Being human is definitely not for the faint of heart. We all have stories describing trials and challenges of life, and most of us get battered along the way. Hopefully, we all find a way to fly above the adversity that blocks our path. For Stephen Brothwell, that element of flying has taken on both a figurative and a literal meaning.

A Southern California native, Stephen attended El Toro High School and later went on to complete a degree in Law and Society at U.C. Santa Barbara. Stephen is fortunate to have his parents and brothers nearby, as well as his boyfriend Chad, who sings baritone in the chorus. “I am out to my family and they are very supportive. They come to all of the Men Alive shows and really enjoy them.” He sang with the Pacific Youth Chorale and later in high school was honored for his choral singing. But Stephen really flew high in the recent Men Alive production of “Wicked to Oz.” “My favorite experience so far has been performing ‘Defying Gravity’. How many people ever get the chance to fly in a show? I can proudly say that I have; all while belting out some high notes!”

Stephen has been noteworthy in his job working with college students at the University of California, Irvine. Through the role of crisis intervention counselor, one of many that Stephen adopts in his job, he has helped students maneuver through difficult times, including sexual assault and attempted suicide. “I was surprised to find how calm I am in the face of trauma. I found that indicative of my ability to take life experiences as they come and learn and grow from each one.” He cites his own college experience as instrumental in developing the confidence needed to fly in the face of challenge.

According to Stephen, Men Alive has offered great role modeling for what being a gay man in this world can be. “The choir is filled with men in long-standing, committed relationships, and people involved in the community and interested in making change.” One could see how the description of “role model” easily applies to him as well.

Robb Neale (Tenor II)
Each individual member of Men Alive has his own story, his own set of circumstances resulting in the wearing of that tux, vest, and tie. Some desire to express what they have already identified as a driving creative force. Others see the chorus as an opportunity to move forward in their lives, only to find inner talent they never realized existed. Whether second tenor Robb Neale fits in the former or latter category is unimportant; what is important is that he has demonstrated both drive and talent in his tenure with the chorus.

Robb grew up in San Diego and went to Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, NY. “My first glimpse of New York City opened my eyes to the world and taught me that I could see any part of it I wanted to.” After college, he lived in London, Seattle (WA), Japan, and Honolulu, where he worked both backstage and singing in front of audiences with the Honolulu Men’s Chorus as well as other local theater companies. Robb returned to California in 1999, took a sabbatical from singing, and decided to audition for Men Alive after his partner died in 2004. “I needed to meet new people and get active again. So, I decided to look for another local chorus, since I'd enjoyed Honolulu so much. I kept missing the [Men Alive] concerts for one reason or another, so finally decided just to audition sight-unseen, figuring if I didn't enjoy it, I'd just quit. Needless to say, I enjoyed it and stayed!”

The Orange County Gay Men’s chorus has benefitted greatly from Robb's presence. He has been a creative force and has not shied away from being on-stage in some memorable scenes, wearing some extraordinary costumes, having played at various times a Marvelette, a member of the Lullaby League and George Frideric Handel. Robb's favorite moment with Men Alive was having a substantial role in the conception and production of the “Wicked to Oz” concert. His dream is to one day actually set foot on a Broadway stage.

Robb has high praise for Men Alive. “Where else do we find well over 100 gay men who get together for a common purpose? I see the complete range of generations, giving a history and reality to the gay experience.”

Robb's creative effort is part of that reality.

Tim Storey (Baritone)
Spend any amount of time watching the preparation for a Men Alive concert and you’ll see that there is incredible dedication to service and excellence. This loyalty is indicative of the depth of commitment made from each member, and it is not limited to chorus functions alone. For baritone Tim Storey, commitment and dedication to service have been consistent threads throughout his life.

Tim, an Illinois native, has demonstrated dedication and commitment to his family, which includes a mother and two younger brothers. He spent a year in the pre-med program of the University of Illinois before joining the Navy, and spent many years serving his country in active duty and the Naval Reserve. With Tim’s knowledge and dedication to the medical field, he has continued to provide excellent service as a Microbiologist. Tim is currently working on a degree in Human Services and Management, and he may one day be the first person in his family to earn a Ph.D.

It has been Tim’s dedication to music and service that brought him to Men Alive. He has fulfilled many leadership roles as a member of “Shoreline Squares”, a square-dancing group, and he began working with the chorus in 2002.  “I had been singing off and on in a few different church choirs. When I went to see “This is Our Time”, I saw in the program the notice about auditions and figured I would try. I am so glad that I went.”  Tim has enjoyed being a “Sister of Perpetual Silence” and cites the Gay and Lesbian Association (GALA) of choruses’ festival in Miami as one life experience that has been very memorable. He was also very proud to have sung with the chorus in celebrating the life of Jill De Freitas.

Tim continues to look for opportunities to serve the chorus. “Men Alive makes me proud that we have touched people making a positive difference in their lives. I feel like I’ve found a place where I belong.”

Richard Triplett (Bass)
Whether you’re straight or gay, or somewhere in-between, we all seek to be comfortable in our own skin. The search for dignity and contentment is difficult. But if we work hard enough, and if it’s important enough to us, we continue the two-steps-forward-one-step-back foxtrot slowly toward that goal. For those of us still dancing, it might be beneficial to let Richard Triplett lead for a while.

One of four children from a very independent family, Richard has taken a very pragmatic approach to his life. “I am who I am and I am not shy about it. I do not feel I need to broadcast my life to others, nor do I ever hide my orientation.” He keeps a Facebook page where his extended family and friends are able to glimpse his life without filters or masks. He sums up his philosophy by stating that the finest moment is yet to come in any circumstance.

Richard has neither been afraid to relocate when a good opportunity presented itself for personal or professional growth, nor has he allowed himself to be overwhelmed by the experiences he’s had. “During all of my adult life I had never lived in the same location for more than two years at a time until Orange County. This included various states over several sections of the country, various locations within those states, and included three, let's just say, relationships meant as educational experiences.” While employed in the banking and mortgage lending industry, he worked toward obtaining the Certified Mortgage Banker designation, a feat he lists as “the most respected and difficult designation available in my industry.”  Due to this designation, his stature in the industry has enabled him to speak, write, and teach in many media.

Richard has found contentment through music and performing. Starting as a preschooler in a tiny suit and tie, he caught the performance bug and continued playing musical instruments and performing in marching bands, eventually adding musical theatre, choral singing, and conducting to his list of accomplishments. He sang with the Boston Gay Men's Chorus for 5 years, as well as the Gay Men’s Chorus of Houston, and arrived in the bass section of Men Alive in 2002.

Richard believes that the chorus “demonstrates an unparalleled image representing a slice of the community in a positive, professional manner,” and he cites an event with Men Alive as being one of his most touching. “For several years I dedicated a large portion of my time to Men Alive in a multitude of ways." During the rehearsal period for a concert in the summer of 2007, he had to tell chorus Artistic Director Rich Cook he was moving to Houston for work. “As a complete surprise to me, Rich in a very somber and emotional way announced to the chorus that I was leaving and moving to Houston. The reaction from the chorus, the complete and pure love I experienced in that spontaneous moment from the whole chorus was so incredibly emotional for me, it captured a piece of my heart forever. That moment in time -- that unabashed feeling of pure love -- will be with me for the rest of my life.”

Lt. Dan Choi (Bass)
On Tuesday July 7, 2009, Men Alive chorister First Lt. Dan Choi, a graduate of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point and an Iraq War veteran, faced a panel of New York National Guard officers who recommended that Choi be discharged for admitting his homosexuality. Choi, a bass in Men Alive, came out in March on the Rachel Maddow show, arguing against the ban on gays serving in the military. Days later at our Spring Show, Choi moved the audience when he shared his story and his experience in fighting against “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT).

A California native, Choi currently serves in the New York Army National Guard, although he makes Orange County his home. He is the son of a Baptist minister. Born in 1981, he has been in the armed forces all his adult life.

Dan Choi is man of great courage and conviction in his beliefs and morals. He is an inspiring warrior, fighting for our country and fighting against discrimination. And he is a treasured friend and great singer to the Chorus.

To help Choi, please visit Knights Out, the organization of out Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) West Point Alumni at http://knightsout.org/.

Learn more about Dan Choi. Links to TV interviews and articles are below:

• The Rachel Maddow show part1 (March 19, 2009) click here
• The Rachel Maddow show part2 (March 20, 2009) click here
• The Anderson Cooper show (May 12, 2009) click here
• The Advocate: "An Officer & A Gentlemen" (July 6, 2009) click here